Going Places

The words always and forever mean nothing now
Thir definition and power have all been washed out
Like the blood in the sink and the tears on my face
Im asked where Im going and I say any place

Away far from here where they don't know my name
Without the pain and the fear and th gut wrenching shame
Where definitions don't change according to tone
Don't know where it is but I'll call it home

Cause home is where the heart is and mine isnt here

I have to go searching its not in my chest
Its hollow and numb under my breast
How can it be numb yet I feel so much pain
The blood has stopped pumping except in my brain
The signals still fire at the thought of your face
And thats why Im leaving to go any place

Away far from here  where they don't know my name
Without the pain and the fear or the gutwrenching shame
Where definitions don't change according to tone
Dont know where it is but Ill call it home.

Cause home is where the heart is
Home is where the heart is
.....This house is not a home.


Pretty sure I wrote this after breaking up with Danny. I had felt that some people where looking down on me for leaving him. For being with another man. For everything. I wanted to make my own decisions, but I wanted people to let me without judging, and that just didn't happen. It was one of the few times that, while she might have been right, I really didn't want to be near my best friend for the way I was looked at. We all don't marry our highschool sweethearts. I know its all okay now and she doesn't think less of me for not having only ever been with one man. But its how I felt then. ANYWAY. I bought this journal thing thats 365 things to write about. ALl it is was it give you a word and a blank page and basically says "GO". I don't know if it will help but I think it will. I never know what to write about and even just telling me to write about an airplane is a start. I can write a poem or a story or anything as long as it has an airplane. I hope to be able to add more to this soon.

Blips

Sometimes I write down little phrases that pop into my head and never attach them to anything. They just soudn good and think maybe I'll work them into a poem or something and never do. So far this is the only ones I can think of .. but I'll go through my notebooks and see whats scrawled on the margins.

I'd blow up the whole town on the offchance you're in it.

You were the only one to over fight back when I was looking for a brawl. I knew you would catch me if I ever were to fall. You'd knock me out and punch me back and pick me up when it hit too hard.